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Menachem's Writings I love to drive a good car, on a good road. Who doesn't? Something comfortable for a big guy like me. There's nothing like the exhilaration of the wind blowing into your face as you accelerate through the gears, the sound of the engine as it revs up and drops down as you zip up the cogs. But I drive lousy cars now -- on lousy roads. They are generally in a bad state of repair and are blocked by traffic, the army, and many idiots who think they belong on the road. I drive a sixteen year old, battered (by Israeli drivers and Arab terrorist rock throwers) Toyota Previa (Tarago in some places around the world like Australia — why?). It is actually one of the most comfortable cars I have owned, even better than the two Volvos I have had in the past. But even though it has been serviced regularly by Toyota here, sixteen years does have an effect. I have had very little problem with it, so I really should not complain. My driving these days is pretty much confined to driving to the pool each day, and then back home. I hate driving from Efrat to Yerushalayim. You must drive through the machsom. Machsom is Hebrew for "block", as in roadblock. However I am not allowed to use that word in this context. I once used it as a caption to a photograph I posted on the PizzaIDF site and received criticism that I was "playing into the hand of Arab propaganda". So I changed the caption to checkpoint. Very politically correct! But block is really the right word. They are set up to block my path, not that of the Arabs. Sometimes there is a huge line waiting to cross it. You can be delayed for many minutes in order to be checked (yes, I strongly resemble that guy carrying a bomb, under my kipa-clad blonde hair which looks like a toupée). They work against us in waves, controlled by politicians. Their aim is to get us out of our towns and villages, voluntarily (to save having to give us compensation), by making life difficult coming in and out of the area. They turn the pressure off and on according to their own timetable. This fools a lot of my neighbours, who think there is an improvement in the situation when they turn it down. And when they turn it up, it must be in response to real security threats. My wife drives a little (British Racing) Green Toyota Corolla. I get to drive it too sometimes. It uses a lot less petrol, gasoline, than the Previa, but man is it very uncomfortable! I have been told that Corollas are hard to find on the second hand car market, "because they are so sought after". My wife is short, so she's happy. But for me ... there was more room in a Mini when they were popular back in the very early seventies when we started to drive. (I wonder if the Mini remake has as much room, or with all the padding they put into these things nowadays, there is probably no room there either.) Now the Mini was a car -- small, roomy, thrashable, though very uncomfortable seat. 0-60 in ... who remembers, but very quickly. But the Corolla: seat is too narrow, nowhere to put my left leg, noisy, no-one can sit behind me when I put the seat all the way back (which I must do). And I can put my foot on the brake and accelerator at the same time -- when I only want one of these at a time. And the roads. The road from here to Jerusalem is potholed ... and even worse in parts. They may intend to repave it when they finally finish building the new machsom road. They have built an unbelievably ugly tall wall along one side of it. They want us to believe it is a security wall, but we all know it is intended to become an international boundary partition. And the machsom will be an international border crossing. They really think people are stupid when they can ruin the countryside with a twenty foot high ugly concrete structure and pretend it is in the name of security. But even the good roads in the country proper ... they are so crowded. Maybe at 2 a.m. you can get a good run. I am not talking about breaking the law, exceeding the speed limit. I am just looking to enjoy the road, enjoy my yellow e-type, let its engine purr, allow it a little run every now and again. Now there was Highway 6. It is Israel's only toll road. I say "was" because at first it was great -- a fun drive. That was in the distant past when truck drivers and bus companies did not use the road because they did not want to pay the toll. But then some bright spark (they really are slow here in Israel -- really) realised that the savings in fuel were far greater than cost of the toll. So now everyone uses it -- every man and his dog, and the army's drinking water trucks too. And then they raised the price. The road is only two lanes wide (each way), and you often get stuck behind a truck overtaking another truck! On a freeway! Why don't they stop this? And you cannot believe that they built this super highway without any lighting. This road was built in the 21st century -- they are still continuing to build it! The parallel, free, public roads all have lighting. When there is no moon, it is pitch black, and even though the dividing island is wide, your high beam sometimes hits the guy coming towards you, right in his eyes. And if they do in the future steal a bit off each side of the island to build a third lane, then every driver will be ocularly zapped. The 200 kilometre run from the Dead Sea to Eilat -- the Arava Highway -- should give you a nice run. It is flat and straight. However it is only one lane in each direction, without occasional overtaking lanes. Because they keep delaying plans to build a railway line parallel to this road, everything that comes into Eilat port (all the cars from Japan and Korea for starters) must be transported by road. As you drive south to Eilat, you continuously pass by these huge transporters, each carrying a dozen motor vehicles, coming north in the opposite direction, towards you. They are enormous and moving at an incredible speed. Scary! Frightening! It is very difficult, and extremely dangerous, to overtake. Full trucks travel north, empty trucks fly south. What a waste of fuel! They are now talking about constructing a canal between the seas (Red-to-Dead). There is a 420 metre (and dropping weekly) sea-level difference between these two seas. Could be great for generating hydro-electricity, but does not sound too useful for transportation. The Dead Sea is the middle of nowhere and every direction from it is a steep uphill. Just bring on the Eilat-Ashdod train. In the major cities, bicycle could be a useful mode of transport. In many European cities they have special bike lanes and encourage bicycling. But middle-eastern drivers have a distinct dislike for our breed. I think they develop extreme road rage when they are passed by one of us, they sitting in the almost carpark conditions drivers experience here, just attempting to get closer to the centre of town. These guys even take it out on you when you reach your destination. It is not good enough to chain up your bike when you go into the office. They steal your seat and your front wheel. Jerusalem is littered with front-wheelless bikes. If you cannot take your bicycle upstairs with you, then please, please remove your front wheel and chain it to the back wheel and frame and onto a very sturdy telegraph pole -- and never forget to take your seat with you! With cars, it is even worse. People spend hours driving into Herzliya (that is where most of our high-tech is located) and then pay a fortune for the privilege of parking 23 minutes brisk walk away from their final destination. So me, I drive to the pool with my bicycle in the back of the Previa, have a swim, ride around the vineyards and orchards with my mate, and drive back home for breakfast, with my bike back in the back. Bentley, do you have a used B.R.G.* tractor for me?
Menachem Kuchar 22nd May, 2008 * B.R.G. British Racing Green — my favourite car colour since childhood. Previous posts:
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